Suki Jones 

The decision to file for the C100 arrangement order was one of the most important steps I’ve ever taken. I didn't arrive at it lightly. For months, I tried to cooperate with my ex to maintain contact with our children, but I found myself constantly at her mercy. Every week, it felt like the rules were changing, and I was losing more and more control over when and how I could see my kids.

After leaving the family home, I did everything I could to stay close to the children. I moved in with my parents for a while, making a 40-mile round trip every day to pick the kids up from school and spend time with them. I later moved into an Airbnb close to the family home, but despite my efforts, my ex continued to control the terms of access. There was no formal arrangement in place, and it became increasingly clear that this gave her all the power.

The situation came to a head around Christmas. She asked me to drive my son 50 miles for a handover, and when I refused, she retaliated. The next time my son was with me, she sent an email saying he wouldn’t come back unless I drove 90 miles to Birmingham. I refused at first, but I couldn’t bear the thought of losing that time with him, so I gave in. I felt helpless, like my relationship with my son was being held hostage, and I had no choice but to follow her ever-changing demands. This was just one example of many.

It wasn’t until after rehab that I started to see things more clearly. During that time, I gained a new perspective, one that made me realise how important it was to maintain a consistent, healthy relationship with my kids, no matter how challenging things became with my ex. I came out of rehab determined to be more present, more involved, but even then, I was still facing obstacles at every turn.

For example, despite my efforts to create a stable environment for the children, my ex wouldn’t allow me to have them overnight on school nights. I was reduced to picking them up from school and dropping them off at her place, often in a 20-minute window, just to catch a glimpse of them. It made me feel like a glorified taxi driver, and it was emotionally exhausting. But I did it, day after day, because I wanted to be there for them. However, this arrangement, this constant lack of real involvement in their lives, was beginning to take its toll.

The final straw came when I tried to plan a summer holiday. I asked my ex if I could take the kids away, provided her with the full itinerary, and even got confirmation from the kids that they were excited to go. She didn’t outright refuse but flexed the terms of the holiday to suit her. What I had planned turned into the opposite, but I accepted it because seeing my children was the priority.

This constant shifting, the lack of stability, and her ability to make last-minute changes to my time with the kids became too much. It wasn’t just the big things like holidays; it was the small, daily battles. One day it would be the time of drop-off, the next it would be a sudden change of plans without any warning. I realised that without a formal agreement in place, this would be my life indefinitely—always on the back foot, never able to fully plan or enjoy time with my children. That’s when I knew I had to file for the C100.

If I hadn’t filed for the C100, I would still be stuck, constantly jumping through hoops, doing everything on her terms. Even now, as we navigate the court process, she continues to make changes—sometimes reducing my time with the kids or altering plans at the last minute. But the difference now is that I don’t rise to it. I’ve learned to keep my focus on the bigger picture: the fact that this process is temporary and that there is an end in sight. The C100 gives me hope that soon there will be a formal arrangement that allows for stability, consistency, and, most importantly, a meaningful relationship with my children.

Without the C100, I would still be trapped in that endless loop of unpredictability, always wondering when or if I would see my kids. Filing for it was a hard decision, but ultimately, it was about taking back control of my role as a father and ensuring that I could be a consistent presence in their lives