Welcome to my story, my truth, and my journey. I’m a Sikh man born in the north of England using the pseudonym Suki Jones, and this blog is the place where I spill everything—raw, unfiltered, and real. For the longest time, I’ve been clawing my way through the wreckage of my life, trying to figure out how to piece it all back together. If you’re here, maybe you’ve been through your own storm, or maybe you just want to know what happens when everything falls apart, and you're left standing in the aftermath, wondering how you got here.

So, here it is—the beginning of my undoing. On the surface, my life once looked perfect. I was married, had kids, a house, the whole package. But underneath, I was a mess. I had an affair. It didn’t just break trust; it shattered my family, and the fallout left me reeling. Divorce hit me hard. It wasn’t just the end of a marriage, it felt like the end of the life I thought I knew. And if that wasn’t enough, I was also fighting another demon—alcohol. My drinking had been my way of coping for years, numbing the pain and quieting the guilt, until it eventually made everything worse.

Now, instead of that family home, I’m in a small apartment, far from the life I once knew. My ex and kids live in the house where I used to be part of the everyday chaos. I used to complain about the noise, the clutter, the constant demands of parenting. Now, I’d give anything to have that noise back. This apartment is quiet—too quiet. The kind of silence that makes you confront every decision you’ve ever made. The absence of my kids is something I carry with me every day, like an ache that never goes away. I don’t get to hear their voices echoing through the halls or see their toys scattered on the floor. I miss them more than I can put into words.

Even my dog, who was once my loyal companion, now lives with my parents. That felt like another piece of me gone, another connection to the life I used to have. It’s strange how these small things—things you took for granted—become the sharpest reminders of what you’ve lost.

But life doesn’t pause just because you’re grieving. I’ve been battling in court for what feels like forever—fighting over money, custody, time with my kids, all while trying to stay financially afloat. Debt feels like a shadow that follows me everywhere, and there are days when it feels impossible to breathe under the weight of it all. The legal system is brutal—it doesn’t care about your heartbreak, your debts, or the fact that you’re just trying to hold on. Every court date is another reminder that this is my life now—fighting for scraps of what I used to have.

Still, despite the overwhelming weight of it all, I’m trying to stay positive. It’s not easy—most days, it feels like a losing battle. But I’ve learned that even in the worst moments, you can find a way forward. You can rebuild, even if it’s slow and painful. Each day is a choice—a choice to keep going, to keep fighting, to keep believing that there’s something better on the other side of all this. Rebuilding isn’t linear, and sometimes it feels like I’m stuck in the same place, but I know I’m making progress, even if it’s small.

This blog isn’t just a space for me to vent about my failures (though I’ll do plenty of that). It’s a place for anyone who’s been through the grinder—whether it’s addiction, divorce, losing touch with your kids, or just trying to figure out how to start over when everything has been taken from you. I’m here to share the messy, unvarnished truth—the hard lessons, the small victories, and even the moments where humor sneaks in when you least expect it. Because, let’s be honest, sometimes the only way to survive the absurdity of life is to laugh at it.

This isn’t one of those shiny, motivational, "everything will be fine" blogs. It’s raw, it’s real, and it’s full of mistakes—because that’s life. If you’re looking for some polished, feel-good advice, you won’t find it here. But if you want the truth about what it’s like to hit rock bottom and start clawing your way back up, you’re in the right place. My journey isn’t over yet—I’m still very much in the middle of it. But maybe, through my stories, you’ll find a little hope, a bit of laughter, or at least the comfort of knowing that you’re not alone in this.

This is where it all starts—a new beginning, however fragile, and however uncertain. I’m not where I want to be, but I’m no longer where I was. So, welcome to the mess. Welcome to the long road back. Let’s see where this journey takes us.